Agent Anthony Sassano

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Anthony Sassano leaving court

“A lot of people wanted to keep it secret”

Testimony resumed with the commonwealth calling Anthony Sassano to the stand. Sassano is an agent for the Attorney Generals office who led the Sandusky investigation.

Sassano testified that the investigation into Jerry Sandusky began on December 12th, 2008, after Victim #1 reported inappropriate physical contact. Sassano did not come on to the investigation until around April or May of 2009. The state police had led the investigation initially-which he indicated was unusual, but did not elaborate. He did say that the investigation was turned over to his office after it was found that the DA originally on the case had a conflict of interest.

When asked how they discovered the incident observed by Mike McQueary, he stated that an anonymous email was forwarded to him after the investigation was underway, indicating that McQueary was “someone we needed to speak to”.

Sassano said that getting victims to come forward was difficult for 2 reasons. One-because of the nature of the crime itself. At the time, 2 of the witnesses were still minors (14 and 15 years old) and were embarrassed to talk about it.

Then he said something else that I found quite interesting.

He said the other reason for the difficulty in identifying victims was-and this is more or less a direct quote-”This is something that had been going on for a very long time. It was kept very secretive, and a lot of people wanted to keep it secret. The Second Mile saw hundreds of thousands of children per year. They handed out these business cards with pictures of footballs on them to the kids…”

This is where he was cut off. I believe it was Judge Cleland who stopped him, and called for a sidebar. Someone from the defense side approached Mr. Sassano (bear in mind-this was the prosecutions witness) and whispered something to him. He nodded. And then testimony resumed.

McGeddigan asked how the victims were identified. Sassano testified that they worked from a few different sources:

•A list of children from The Second Mile which was narrowed down to those children who lived within an hour of state college •Sandusky’s autobiography “Touched”, where he mentioned several children. •Children found in photographs discovered after executing search warrants in his home and the Penn State storage room

Sassano said that he was led to the Penn State custodians after he read the report by the Penn State police about the incident with Victim #6. Comparing that report, and the statement made by Mike McQueary, he found that there were 2 key similarities between the two-Both incidents had happened in the Lash building on Penn State campus during “non-peak hours” (i.e., in the evening) And who would have been around during that time? The custodians. So that’s where they went next.

He added, with a hint of bitterness, that Penn State was “not quick” about answering subpoenas, and getting them the information they needed.

“I am the great pretender”

On June 21, 2011, a search warrant was executed in Jerry Sandusky’s residence. The prosecution then published several of the items they discovered.First there were pictures taken of victim #1, which were quite disturbing. There was a picture of Sandusky with his arm around Victim #1. He had wet hair. Given all of the testimony we have heard about Sandusky assaulting children in the shower, it was hard to look at.

There were a number of pictures of Victim #1 at sporting events-at his wrestling matches, and at track meets. Sandusky was clearly taking them from the stands. In one of the pictures, Victim #1 is at a wrestling meet, standing sideways and looking up directly into the camera with a look of fear in his eyes. It is as if it was snapped at the exact moment he saw Sandusky sitting in the stands, watching him. Recall that Victim #1 testified that he dropped out of football because of Sandusky’s constant presence at his practices.

In Sandusky’s residence, they also found printed lists of the boys who attended “The Second Mile” summer camp in 2005, complete with their addresses and phone numbers. Several of the names had stars written next to them. Among those names were 2 of the known victims who testified that they first met Jerry Sandusky at the Second Mile summer camp in 2005-Victim #1, and Victim #9.

On another list, Sandusky had written down the names of several boys from the camp list-and next to the names had listed both their clothing and shoe sizes. Among those names were the same two boys.

Sassano said that he was finally able to search the grounds of Penn State-noting that it took “a lengthy period of time” before he was given access. He searched a room that had been abandoned some time in 2008 where the school stored items from Jerry Sandusky’s office.

In the boxes, he found several items of interest. First, he found multiple photographs of Victim #4 which were published into evidence.

This series of photographs were taken in the Penn State locker room, with Victim #4 posing in the jersey of Lavar Arrington. In the first photo, Victim #4 is posing in what I can only describe as a pin-up pose, with his arm behind his head. In another photo, Jerry Sandusky has his arm around the boy-and it presents the startling contrast between their physical statures. In another photo, he is bending over facing the camera. And in the final photo, he is shown from the side, posing like a quarterback getting ready to throw the ball.

They also found an instructional video that Sandusky made in 1999, where Victim #4 is featured in the background, a print out of information from the Second Mile database on victim #6, and another “camp list” from 1995. On this list, there is a star beside the name of victim #7. There were other camp list from 1998, with slashes next to the names of #6, #4, and #10. So, if you are keeping track-that means that 6 out of the 8 who testified were notated on these “camping lists”.

They also located copies of the “love letters” sent to victim #4 (see Roxine’s diary for more info on these) as well as a copy of the contract between #4 and Jerry Sandusky, in which he agrees to abide by certain behaviors (i.e. getting good grades) in exchange for monetary compensation. Of note-the original draft of the contract which was never signed states that Victim #4 would recieve $36/week. The one he ultimately signed was for $60/week.

But the most disturbing piece of evidence for me was story written by Jerry Sandusky, which he titled “The B-J story”

The B-J story was written about Sandusky’s relationship with victim #4. It is quite bizarre, and Sassano read it quickly-so this is just paraphrasing and not word for word.

“It was a difficult time for Jerry, his father had just died. Jer and his father had many shared experiences. __ would say “tell me another story Jerry”. Jerry didn’t want the ride to end. Jerry became attached to _. Jer considered __ his “best friend” … Something has come into __‘s life to take him over. He is losing these battles more and more. A dark cloud has taken over his life, turning his caring into apathy, making him say ‘I don’t care’, killing his feelings. There is something very special inside _, and Jerry hopes he will see it again. Jer may not be worthy, but he hopes he can have his best friend again”

Finally, there was another paper, on the top of which had the title “The Great Pretender” in Jerry Sandusky’s handwriting. Again, it was read too fast for me to get all of it, but here is a basic rundown of this very creepy love letter that was sent to Victim #4:

“Yes, I am a great pretender. I pretend I can sing, I can pretend many things. I can’t pretend my feelings for you.”(Not always a pretender)”

Victim #9

The prosecution wrapped with the tesimony of Victim #9. I will warn in advance that what he testified to is absolutely horrific.

Victim #9 is 18 years old, slightly built, and looked nervous and deeply ashamed as he took the stand. He spoke in a low voice that sometimes cracked. He’s one of those kids that you look at and can just tell has had a really rough life.

“No one can hear you down there”

McGeddigan started off by asking him some questions designed to go at the heart of the defense-namely, did he have a lawyer? He testified that he did not. In a moment of levity, he quipped “you are my lawyer!”

“Oh, are you going to pay me then?” McGeddigan asked. “Sure, I’ll try” he said.

That was the first and last time he smiled.

Victim #9 grew up in a trailer park in a small town outside of State College, raised by a single mother who worked as a bartender. Like many of Sandusky’s victims, he never knew his father. He was later placed in foster care.

Victim #9 was referred to the Second Mile in 2004, when he was 11 years old. He attended the camp for 3-4 summers. Once again, Sandusky first approached him when he was in the pool at camp, and asked him if he wanted to “hang out” some time. McGeddigan asked Victim #9 if he thought that sounded like a good idea.

“Sure” he said. “He was a well known guy, and he seemed nice”

Victim #9 started going to Sandusky’s home and to football games with him, and stayed in contact with him from the time he was 12 until he was 15 years old.

McGeddigan asked what his impressions were of Mr. Sandusky. He shrugged. “At first he was nice and stuff” he said in a soft voice. He said he played games with him and took him out to eat. He bought him a running suit, a rocket ball, a tennis racket, and a pair of sneakers.

McGeddigan then asked if Sandusky ever did anything that made him feel uncomfortable.

Victim #9 sighed heavily, and then began to speak in a low monotone voice. Sandusky, he said, started with rubbing and “cracking” his back. He hugged and kissed him all over. McGeddigan asked if he ever said anything to Sandusky about this.

“Yes”, he said. “I told him to stop”

Did he ever tell his mother?

“Yes” he said. He told his mother that Jerry was a “touchy feely kind of guy”, but did not elaborate.

He also stated that when he was in the pool with Jerry, he always “had his arms around me” and that made him feel uncomfortable. At the time, he said, he
was around 5 feet tall and weighed around 67 pounds. Like so many of his victims, he was small for his age. Like Victim #7, when they showed a photograph of him at age 12 there was an audible gasp in the courtroom. He looked no older than 7 or 8.

McGeddigan asked him if there was anything else that Sandusky had done. Victim #9 was obviously  uncomfortable, and started twiddling his thumbs, shifting around in his seat and looking down at his lap.

“He started kissing me, first on the cheek, and then on the lips” he said. “And then, he made me touch his penis.”

“Did you want to touch his penis?” McGeddigan asked.

“No”, he said, emphatically.

McGeddigan asked why he continued to go to Sandusky’s house. Victim #9 testified that he didn’t want to go, but that his mother made him. She wanted him to have a good male role model, and thought he was a positive influence in his life.

When McGeddigan asked if he ever told his mother about being forced to touch Sandusky’s penis, he said “no”,and then added-“How are you supposed to tell your mom something like that?” McGeddigan pressed on. Was there anything else that Jerry Sandusky had done?

After a long pause, Victim #9 said “He made him suck on his penis.”

The first time he did it, he came into his room and pulled his pants down and lay on top of him, and forced himself into his mouth-verbally ordering him to perform oral sex on him.

“I mean, what was I going to do?” he said. “He was a big guy, bigger than me. Much bigger than me”

He went to the Sandusky home every weekend from Friday to Sunday. He guessed that he went there 100-150 times-usually sleeping in the same basement room that Victim #1 testified about with the water bed.

McGeddigan then asked him Victim #9 if there was anything else that Jerry Sandusky had done which he hadn’t testified about. He dropped his head, and said in a voice so low it was barely audible “yes”. After a few moments pause, and taking a long, tortured breath, he mumbled “he put his penis in my butt”.

Sandusky did this for the first time when he was 13 years old. He testified that he was in the basement bedroom when Sandusky came in and performed oral sex on him. Then, he started to get “more agressive”, and forced him down and sodomized him.

“I just went with it,” he said. “There was no fighting against it. … Sometimes [I'd] scream. Sometimes tell him to get off of me. But other than that, he was there, you were in a basement, no one can hear you down there.”

McGeddigan asked if he ever called his mother. Victim #9 stated that he had-he was supposed to sleep over one night, but snuck off and called his mother, and asked her to pick him up-and she did. When asked why-he stated “I had enough of it”. That was the last time he ever spent the night in Sandusky’s home.

“Who’s going to believe kids?”

When asked about his relationship with Sandusky, he said that he was nice to him at other times. He told him that he loved him, and wished the best for him. When asked how he felt about that, he said “I thought it was creepy. But I was a kid so what did I know?”

Victim #9 said he never told anyone what happened because “Who would believe you? He’s an important guy. Everybody knows him. He’s a football coach. Who’s going to believe kids?”

In perhaps the most compelling moment of the trial, McGeddigan asked Victim #9 to point to the man who “made you perform oral sex, and put his penis in your butt”. He pointed to Jerry Sandusky-although he avoided eye contact. “I don’t want to look at him” he said.

While I like and admire Art Lein, I have to say that his picture is not quite accurate. When Victim #9 pointed at him, Jerry Sandusky was smiling.

Cross Examination

Surprisingly, Amendola did not question Victim #9 about the fact that his story had changed over time like he had with the others. I’m not quite sure why-since Victim #9 probably had the most radical shift-going from saying nothing happened initially to testifying that he was forcibly sodomized. Perhaps it is because McGeddigan addressed this quite extensively in his direct exam.

Amendola asked Victim #9 about the forced sodomy. Did he bleed?

“Yes” he said, with a heart breaking matter-of-factness, and then added “I just dealt with it. I have a different way of coping with things”

He asked Victim #9 about how often he stayed at the Sandusky’s home between 2005-2009. He said he was there every weekend, and he was usually the only one there. Amendola didn’t belabor the point, but I know exactly where he was going with that-this statement conflicts with Victim #1′s account, since he was also frequently at the Sandusky home during the same time period.

Unfortunately, because the commonwealth will not allow an expert witness to testify, no one will be able to explain to the defense that prolonged serious trauma warps your perception of time. For example-I was molested over the course of a summer. I have no memories of that summer outside of being at my friends house, where the sexual abuse occurred. I’m sure I did not spend the entire summer there-there are pictures of me doing other things with my family, going to sleepaway camp, etc.-but I remember none of it. Only being in that house. This is very typical.

Amendola also raised the issue of Victim #9 continuing to be in contact with Sandusky up until very recently. When was the last time he spoke with Sandusky? He asked. Victim #9 said it was in 2011, and that Sandusky had called him to let him know that he was under investigation-and asked Victim #9 if anyone had asked him any questions. He asked him to “stick up for him”.

“In that conversation, did you tell Jerry Sandusky that you couldn’t believe anyone would say that about you, you are such a nice person” Amendola asked.

Victim #9 looked incredulous. “No” he said. “Definitely not”.

Amendola asked him about the fact that he had continued to go to football games with Jerry Sandusky, as recently as this past September. Victim #9 admitted that he had, but stated that he had only gone because he had a frield with him. His friend had never been to a football game before, and he wanted him to get a chance to go. “I knew he would have my back” he said “if anything went down”

Amendola then asked Victim #9 if he had ever sought medical attention after he was sodomized by Sandusky-to which he replied that he hadn’t. “And your mother never saw any blood in your underwear?”

“No” he said.

“But you did bleed?”

“Yes” he said, for the second time and then added

“I handle things differently than other people”

After his testimony court adjourned.  ‪Sandusky‬ paced, hands in pockets, looking defeated.

Final Impressions

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This week has been an emotional roller coaster, and I’m still trying to dowload everything I have heard and seen in the past 4 days. Thankfully, I have 3 days off before the defense begins their case on Monday.In the meantime, here are a few of the impressions I am left with.

Jerry Sandusky is guilty

And I believe that he will be found guilty by the jury on the majority-if not all-of the charges. He will go to prison for the rest of his life, and he needs to be there. He is incredibly dangerous. I believe his behavior with his last 2 known victims-with the stalking of #1 and the agressiveness of his rapes on #9 would have eventually led to him killing one of his victims.

Jerry Sandusky used his charity as a pipeline for young boys.

When I first heard that Jerry Sandusky ran a charity for troubled youth, I had a sinking feeling. The last 4 days of testimony have confimed all of my fears. The Second Mile was used as a pipeline for Jerry Sandusky. He met every single one of his victims through there-and the pattern was always the same.

He would meet the boy at summer camp, usually in the pool, introduce himself and then ask if they wanted to go to a football game with him some time. And being 10 and 11 year old boys, naturally they would say “yes”

He would call their home, and pick them up. He would become friendly with their parents or guardian in the process.

He would start spending more time with them-bringing them to games, around his family, and to his home. By doing this, he was normalizing contact with them. He would start normalizing physical contact with them as well-bear hugs, kisses on the cheek, his hand on their knee, their thigh while driving. Tickling and back rubs escalated into taking showers together. He was testing their boundaries.

From there, he would escalate to fondling, and performing oral sex on some of his victims. I believe there is a reason that he performed oral sex on his victims long before he had them do anything to him. A body-even a childs body-responds to stimulation. These boys were old enough that they would have probably gotten an erection when they were orally copulated, and possibly even experienced orgasm. Those involuntary physiological reactions no doubt filled them with shame and confusion-and it made them so humiliated that they were afraid to tell anyone what happened. It was only after establishing this that Sandusky would have his victims perform oral sex on him.

He would use money, gifts, trips and attention to keep these boys in his grasp. Many of the victims testified that they continued to stay in contact with him because they wanted this to continue. There is a reason that Sandusky chose boys who were economically disadvantaged- growing up with single moms, in trailer parks and public housing, kids who never experienced anything like the world he introduced them to. Access to the Penn State football program, trips to games, a house with a basement filled with so many games and activities that agent Sassano testified that it looked like an “arcade”. He bought them gifts, and he made them think that he cared for them.

As Judith Herman wrote in “Trauma & Recovery”

Participation in forbidden sexual activity […] confirms the abused child’s sense of badness. Any gratification that the child is able to glean from the exploitative situation becomes proof in her mind that she instigated and bears full responsibility for the abuse. If she ever experienced sexual pleasure, enjoyed the abuser’s special attention, bargained for favors, or used the sexual relationship to gain privileges, these sins are adduced as evidence of her innate wickedness. The child entrapped in this kind of horror develops the belief that she is somehow responsible for the crimes of her abusers. Simply by virtue of her existence on earth, she believes that she has driven the most powerful people in her world to do terrible things. Surely, then, her nature must be thoroughly evil. The language of the self becomes a language of abomination. Survivors routinely describe themselves as outside the com-pact of ordinary human relations, as supernatural creatures or nonhuman life forms. They think of themselves as witches, vampires, whores, dogs, rats, or snakes. Some use the imagery of excrement or filth to describe their inner sense of self. In the words of an incest survivor: “I am filled with black slime. If I open my mouth it will pour out. I think of myself as the sewer silt that a snake would breed upon” […}The profound sense of inner badness becomes the core around which the abused child’s identity is formed, and it persists into adult life”

Jerry Sandusky acted with premeditation

We know of 2 victims who he anally raped, and one who he attempted to anally rape-although I believe there were more, and suspect that at least one of the other victims who testified was subjected to that as well, but could not yet bring himself to admit it. Of the two victims who testified to this (victim #2, who McQueary walked in on, did not testify) both were boys who had long term, very close relationships with Sandusky. Victim #4 was the subject of love letters and was a constand presence in the Sandusky home and on trips out of state. Victim #9 also had a very close and long term relationship with Sandusky. He was very careful not to do this particular act with just anyone. That goes to his planning, which was quite meticulous.

Jerry Sandusky was a serial child predator, and an expert groomer. The lists that were introduced into evidence-where he put stars next to the names of certain boys, and wrote down their clothing sizes-shows a man who planned his predation far in advance.

These boys were not unlucky-they were targeted.

Jerry Sandusky was aided and abetted

Look at the facts-every single one of his victims was involved in “The Second Mile”. All of them were first approached by him at the summer camp.

And as I have diaried about here before-JERRY SANDUSKY WAS RUNNING THESE OVERNIGHT CAMPS ON THE PENN STATE CAMPUS UP UNTIL 2009

2009. EIGHT YEARS years since Mike McQueary walked in on him raping a 8-10 year old child in their locker room. Almost TWENTY YEARS since he had been caught taking a shower with an 11 year old boy at night. And remember what McQueary senior tetified to yesterday? In a private meeting with Gary Schultz, he was told “there have been noises about this kind of thing for a long time”

“A lot of people wanted to keep it a secret”

I have more thoughts about this, but I will have to put them in a separate diary. But suffice it to say, something stinks in State College, and it’s far worse than anyone even realizes.

Karl Rominger on his cross-examination asked John McQueary why he didn’t call the police.  Rominger then said “Are you aware that you are a mandatory reporter?”

McQueary (let me remind you, a CEO of a physician’s practice) responded that he didn’t know and sort of shrugged it off.

Next Rominger asked him what WOULD it have taken for John McQueary to call 911 that night – what would Mike McQueary have had to say to him.

“Crying, screaming, someone injured, I don’t know,” John McQueary testified. “That sounds like a ‘what if.’ Whatever had taken place was over by the time he saw me. It’s not like I walked in on it.”

So according to John McQueary, child rape does not constitute an “injury”. But this isn’t the strangest part.

In their next exchange, Karl Rominger asked John McQueary if he remembered testifying in Dauphin County Courthouse in a preliminary hearing.  John McQueary said he had never BEEN in Dauphin County Courthouse.  Rominger approached the witness, showing him a certified transcript of a court proceeding that occurred in this courthouse, asking him to verify that he was on the witness list and had him read (to himself, not to the court) his sworn testimony.

He then started to ask a question about said testimony when Judge Cleland shut him down saying “The witness just said he was never in that court house.”

The baffling thing to me at least is that the Prosecution had the opportunity to re-direct in order to clarify any lingering issues, but chose not to. Seemingly neither party, the prosecution nor defense, got what they wanted from John McQueary.

“He told me if I told anyone that I would never see my family again”

Subverting Amendola’s continued assertations that all of the victims have “lawyered up” and are only in this for financial gain, Victim 10 took the witness stand.  When McGettigan asked how he came to be involved in this case – did detectives track him down or some other way? Victim 10 stated that he called the hotline after the Jerry Sandusky story broke. 

His troubled youth was what got him referred to the Second Mile, a foster kid, Victim 10 was removed from the home he shared with his mother and placed into a foster home and referred to the second mile in 1998.  Following a similar pattern that has, frankly, become predictable, the victim met Mr. Sandusky at a camp for the Second Mile, shortly thereafter, Mr. Sandusky called the victim’s home, arranging to take the young boy to a football game.  The boy later went to his house and down to the basement.

(((Triggering))) Here, Mr. Sandusky started wrestling with the boy and pinned him down to the ground.  He pulled down the boy’s pants and started performing oral sex on him. Afterwards, Mr. Sandusky departed from his normal actions and actually threatened this boy, saying that if he ever told anyone he would never see his family.  Mr. Sandusky later apologized for saying that and took the victim shopping for school clothes.

“He apologized for saying that and that he didn’t mean it and that he loved me,” Victim 10 said.  Sandusky went on to abuse Victim 10 five or six more times.  Victim 10 eventually told his foster mother that he didn’t want to go to Sandusky’s house anymore.  Shortly thereafter, Victim 10 was returned to his biological mother.

Victim 10′s history is checkered with a couple of burglaries and conviction, spending 22 months in jail.  However, when asked how he was doing now (he’s 25), the victim said better, that he was married and that they’re expecting.  You could hear even the most seasoned reporters choke up a bit at that piece of good news…

The foster mother for Victim 10 took the witness stand and corroborated his story, stating that Mr. Sandusky had had previous contact with the boy prior to his coming into her home.  Shortly thereafter called her and began taking the victim to football games.  She also stated that Mr. Sandusky gave the boy gifts

“To this day I’m sort of repulsed by chest hair”

Victim 7 seemed to get himself into a bit of trouble when it came to the cross-examination.  A link to a good recap of his testimony is here,but in the interest of brevity (and because quite frankly I’m dead tired), I’m only going to post a few of mine and Rebecca’s thoughts about this victim.

Jerry Sandusky appears to have a “type”-and Victim #7, at least physically, fits it to a T. Jerry likes his boys small. When the prosecution put up a picture of Victim #7 on the projector screen, I thought I was looking at a child who was 7 years old. There was an audible gasp in the courtroom when the backside of the photograph was shown-showing the victims name, and stating that he was 12 years old at the time it was taken.

Victim #7 is 27 years old, and still looks young for his age. Because of his upbeat personality,  I found his testimony the easiest to listen to out of all of the victims who have taken the stand so far.

Victim #7 testified that in 1995, when he was 10 years old, he was referred to the Second Mile program by his guidance counselor because he was having problems in school. He stated that he loved the camp, and had a great time. He first met Jerry Sandusky when he approached him in the pool, and asked him if he liked Penn State football, and if he would like to go to one of the games. Shortly thereafter, he called Victim #7′s home and asked his mother if he could pick him up and take him to a Penn State football game.

After going to that first game, Victim #7 began going to PSU football games with Jerry Sandusky frequently. He testified that he went to every single home game from the years 1996-2009. In the beginning, he went to all of these games with Jerry and his family.  But soon, that privilege would be withheld.

Victim #7 testified about several instances of physical contact that made him feel uncomfortable.

First, he testified that when he was in the car with him, Sandusky would often put his hand on the victims leg and squeeze him-so hard that he said he would sometimes cry out in pain.  He also testified that when he would stay over at Jerry’s house, he would sleep in the upstairs guest room.  Jerry would come into his room and climb into bed with him, pressing his body against him. Sometimes Jerry would be in a t-shirt and shorts or jogging pants.  Sometimes Jerry wouldn’t have on a shirt.  At this point the witness spoke into the microphone and said “to this day, I’m sort of repulsed by chest hair.”

Victim 7 said he got Jerry to leave during these times by saying he was going to go to bed – that he was ready to read himself to sleep.

On cross-examination, Amendola stressed multiple times that Victim 7′s story has changed, since he retained counsel.  He went over grand jury testimony that conflicted with Victim 7′s testimony today.  He had the victim read the glowing remarks he had written about Jerry Sandusky on a scholarship application:

“Jerry Sandusky, he has helped me understand so much about myself. He is such a kind and caring gentleman and I will never ever forget him.”"This is the same Jerry Sandusky you’ve been telling the jury about for the last hour, no?” Amendola asked

“Not to me no,” Victim 7 responded.

Victim 5

I had moved up a couple of rows at this point – into the “Media” section. Yes, I decided to “break the rules” and get a better view.  Perhaps it was this new vantage point that made me acutely aware of the 4 people sitting two rows ahead of me to my right, in the rows reserved for the Prosecution.  Another woman sitting behind this group was comforting an older lady sitting there.  I suddenly realized this was the family for the next victim – Victim 5.

Breaking the typical profile that appears to be forming, Victim 5 came from a two-parent household and was referred to the second mile because a counselor thought he needed help with his English.  Apparently English wasn’t the first language of his parents, but when asked by the Prosecution if he needed help with his English, Victim 5 said no.

He met Mr. Sandusky at the Second Mile summer camp at Penn State University. Following his typical pattern, a few days after camp, Mr. Sandusky called the boy’s home to see if he wanted to go to a Penn State football game.  The Victim went to the game and subsequent games with Mr. Sandusky and enjoyed them.  Mr. Sandusky then called the victim and asked him if he wanted to work out.  The victim agreed, and Mr. Sandusky picked him up at home.  On this occasion and others, the victim said Mr. Sandusky put his hand on his thigh as they were driving (seeing a pattern here?)

Following their “work out” (and that’s in quotes not because it’s a direct quote, but because the workout consisted of Jerry putting the boy on a treadmill very briefly, putting him on a barbell machine that the kid couldn’t even pull down, and then asking the kid to go into the sauna).  After a brief visit to the sauna, Jerry said let’s go get a shower.

Although it was only once, the trauma of this incidence reverberated through the courtroom as this young man tearfully recounted the attack.

As I glanced over at his family, I saw his older brother sobbing.  And he wasn’t the only one.  I heard many people crying as the boy spoke about the predatory way in which Jerry Sandusky backed him into a corner in that shower.  How he was terrified.

“I noticed he started coming in my direction,” he testified. “He threw some soap at me and started lathering my shoulders. I crept forward a little bit more, as did he, and I felt his body on my back. I kept lurching forward but I didn’t have anywhere to go.”

After Jerry forced him to touch him, the boy escaped the shower and remembers toweling off. On the car ride home, he remembers that Jerry did not say a word to him, and would not even make eye contact. After he dropped him off, he never called him again, and never took him to any more football games. When Attorney McGettigan asked him what he thought about this, Victim #5 said “I thought he was upset with me”. When asked if he told his parents about what happened, like all of the other victims who have testified so far, he stated he had not. When asked why, he said “I wanted to forget, and I was embarrassed”. McGettigan asked him if he was upset by this at all, he testified that he was. “I wanted to go see the games” he explained. But Jerry Sandusky would no longer speak with him, let alone take him to Penn State games-leaving Victim #5 thinking that he had done something wrong.

There was really not much of a cross-examination.  How do you defend the indefensible?

A virtual view into what we saw – now you, too, can sit in the pew

In an interesting change up to the previously predictable proceedings, the prosecution called Bob Costas to the witness stand (ok, not really, but Bob Costas was in fact in the courtroom today – at least his voice was).  The jury listened to a 10 minute interview Bob Costas did with Jerry Sandusky back in November.  They were not shown the video, but instead a still shot of Costas and Amendola on the left and Jerry Sandusky on the right on the overhead projector (artist’s rendering follows):

 

“THE” Bob Costas – here?

The fact is everyone in the gallery did, in fact, think following the Bob Costas audio (and still photos being displayed) that Bob Costas was called to the witness stand.   Rebecca overheard several members of the media excitedly calling in the breaking news of the surprise witness. We were then sorely disappointed when another man started to enter (it was NOT Bob Costas, however the name McGettigan said sounded very similar!)The witness wasn’t even able to take a seat in the witness stand before being immediately removed and, after a short recess where the jury was taken out of the courtroom, the prosecution had to present the evidence it wanted to introduce, defend the reasoning behind it, allow the defense to debate the issue with the end result being Judge Cleland’s ruling.

The issue surrounded hearsay evidence the prosecution wanted to share with the jury.   Hearsay evidence, typically, is not allowed into the record.  Except when it comes to “excited utterances.”  Generally it applies when a witness makes “A statement relating to a startling event or condition made while the declarant was under the stress of excitement caused by the event or condition.”

After a few rounds of intellectual gymnastics with the lawyers citing case law and its applicability, Judge Cleland ruled that the prosecution had made its point and that the hearsay evidence could be heard by the jury.

Enter Ronald Petrosky

Mr. Petrosky testified that in the fall of 2000, he was working the 7 pm to 3 am shift cleaning the showers at Penn State.  A co-worker of his, Mr. Calhoun, was in the staff locker room cleaning the toilets when Mr. Petrosky entered.  Although Mr. Petrosky heard the showers running, he didn’t think it was an unusual occurrence, stating sometimes people would exit the shower without turning off the water.  However, as Mr. Petrosky was hooking up his hose under the sinks, he noticed 4 legs in the shower and immediately exited the room, thinking he would allow whoever was in the shower to finish and then return to clean the shower when they were done.About 5 minutes later, Mr. Petrosky stated that Jerry Sandusky exited the shower with a young boy.  He said “Good Evening, Coach” to Mr. Sandusky and watched him and the young boy walk down the hall.  He said about 2/3 of the way down the hall, Mr. Sandusky grabbed the boys hand. They disappeared down the hallway, headed up to Sandusky’s office.

As he was heading back into the shower to clean, he met Jim Calhoun between the set of double doors.  He stated that Mr. Calhoun was white and his hands were shaking.  Mr. Petrosky was concerned for his health (as Mr. Calhoun was an older gentlemen).

****Possibly Triggering***** He said, ‘Buck’ — that’s my nickname– ‘I just witnessed something in there I’ll never forget the rest of my life. The man who just left, he had the boy up against the shower wall licking on his privates.’” And, when pressed by the prosecution a bit later in his testimony about the specific language Mr. Calhoun used 30 minutes later with several janitors around, Mr. Petrosky said, “He had that little boy up against the wall and he was sucking his dick.”

Mr. Petrosky also testified that around 10:30 or 11:00 pm that same night he was cleaning the windows and saw Mr. Sandusky driving slowly through the parking lot.  Again, around 2:30 a.m. right before he got off of work, Mr. Petrosky was taking out the trash and saw Mr. Sandusky driving slowly through the parking lot at that time.

The predatory behavior continues….

Impressions

We are too tired to really do impressions-but we both feel that today was not a good one for Jerry Sandusky. A very disturbing pattern is emerging through the testimony-that of a serial child predator, with a very predictable MO. It’s beginning to feel like groundhog day, hearing these stories from the victims unfold- It starts with a child at the Second Mile. Jerry Sandusky always seems to approach them in the water first. He calls their house and takes them to football games. His house or the shower. Putting his hand on the leg while driving, and moving it up towards the groin. It is all becoming so mind-numbingly predictable that even as survivors we sometimes need to take a step back and remember that while Sandusky’s grooming and abuse was virtually the same across the board, each of his victims was a unique individual deserving of their day in court, and justice for the crimes committed against them.

Victim #1

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I don’t know what I was expecting when he came into the courtroom. But I was immediately struck by how young he looked-younger than his 18 years, and skinny as a bean pole. As the door opened and he walked up to the witness stand, he paused for a brief moment and looked wide eyed at the packed gallery. He was shivering, and he took a deep breath as he lowered himself into his seat.

My god, I thought, he’s terrified.And who could blame him? 18 years old, and the star witness in one of the most high profile criminal trials in recent history.

But nothing could have prepared me for what would happen next.

Direct Examination

His testimony started with the direct examination from the prosecutor, with simple questions about his background. Victim #1 never knew his father and lived with his single mother and two younger siblings in public housing in a small town outside of State College. As a result of his circumstances, his school referred him to “The Second Mile” program, which served at-risk youth. It was here that he first came into contact with Jerry Sandusky.The Second Mile ran a 6 day sleepover camp in the summer, which Victim #1 attended for 3 years. (Note-I wrote a diaryabout these camps a couple months ago) His first year was uneventful, and he does not recall meeting Sandusky. In the second year, when he was around 11, Sandusky pulled him aside and asked him if he was enjoying the camp, and asked if he had any suggestions for how to make it more fun.

In the 3rd year, when he was 12, Sandusky started to single him out for special attention. At first it started with daytime excursions, where he went off with Sandusky and a small group of other boys around his age. Sandusky took them to a playground, and to a dam where, as he did with Victim #4, Sandusky engaged in horseplay-often picking him up and throwing him into the water. Victim #1 said he never felt uncomfortable with this, and had a good time on these outings.

After the summer camp ended, Jerry Sandusky only intensified his contact with Victim #1-taking him to football games and other outings. Increasingly, he was spending time with him alone. Around this time, Sandusky began to show up at his sporting events-wrestling matches, track meets, and football games-and would often take pictures of him taking part in these activities.

In the summer of 2007, Sandusky asked him if he wanted to spend the night at his house. With his mothers blessing, he spent the night hanging out with Sandusky and a small group of other boys around his age. He testified that the group spent most of the night playing in his finished basement which was stocked with a pool table, a dart board, a foozball table, and other games. That first night, he slept over in the guestroom upstairs. He wasn’t sure if the other boys also spent the night there.

During that summer, Victim #1 began spending more and more of his time with Sandusky, often staying at his house for days at a time. Instead of the upstairs guest room, he started staying in a room in the basement- a room with a water bed and a big screen TV where Sandusky’s adult children would stay during visits. This is where the bizarre night time rituals began.

((TRIGGER WARNING))

Around the time Victim #1 began sleeping in the basement bedroom, Sandusky became increasingly affectionate with him, under the guise of “saying goodnight”. It began as hugs, and occasionally he would kiss the boy on the cheek or forehead. Eventually, he began to kiss him on the lips as well. When asked if he found this unusual, Victim #1 testified that he didn’t think anything of it.

Sandusky also began doing something that Victim #1 called “cracking my back”. Sandusky would place the boy on top of him, both horizontal and vertical to his body. He would hold his body close to him, pressing firmly against his upper and lower vertebrae. Then, he would roll over so that the boy-who was small for his age and weighed well under 100 pounds at the time-was underneath him. He would stay like this for a while, often kissing him on the cheek, forehead, and lips as he did this. He would also blow rasberries on his stomach “like you would do to a little baby to make him laugh”, he said.

Eventually this “back cracking” ritual began to involve Jerry Sandusky running his hands down the boys back, and under his shorts, caressing his buttocks. As he said this, his voice broke and it was clear that he was fighting back tears.

When asked if he thought this was unusual, Victim #1 testified that he found it a little odd, but then he just assumed this was something Jerry did with his family-and by this point, Sandusky was treating him like a surrogate son.

DA then asked if, at any point, Jerry Sandusky had sexual contact with him.

Victim #1 had a noticeable physical reaction to the question. He flinched, grimaced and shook his head like a dog trying to rid water from its ears. He sighed heavily several times, and then he began.

In the summer of 2007, he testified, he spent the day with Sandusky and his family. After a day of fun activities, they retired to the basement and eventually ended up on the water bed again.

“After rubbing and cracking my back and rubbing his hands down the back of my shorts and then blowing on the stomach,” he began, and then stopped suddenly. He breathed heavily. Choked back a sob. Then he hung his head, and began to cry.

“He…”

More crying.

“He put … ”

He sighed again, struggled to take a breath, and then cried again-loudly this time (and by now, as you can imagine, he had a lot of company)

“He put his mouth on my privates” he finally blurted out, and then buried his face in his hands and shook with sobs. I heard him say, in a voice so soft it was barely audible, “Oh, god”.

The acts of oral sex continued for months, he testified. When asked if he ever said anything, or asked Sandusky to stop, he said he hadn’t, and explained why.

“I spaced” he said. “I didn’t know what to do with all the thoughts running through my head. I just blacked out. I didn’t want it to happen. I froze.”

He said he was too scared and embarrassed to tell anyone. He was also fearful no one would believe him. Time after time he found himself back in Sandusky’s basement. He later guessed that he spent the night there at least 100 times-and that 80-90% of the time, he would end up having oral sex with Jerry Sandusky.

“It was always the same routine,” he said. “Cracking my back, rubbing my back, putting his hands down back of my shorts, after that, it was always after he blew on my stomach that it happened.”

“He would always blow on my stomach; as soon as he blew on my stomach that’s when it would happen”, he reiterated, and shuddered.

It was always Sandusky performing the act until one night. The DA gently asked him what happened on the night in question.

“It was pretty much like any normal time with Jerry,” he began, before breaking down and crying harder and harder.

“This time he sat there,” he said, his voice breaking. “He looked at me and said something along the lines … ” He sighed, heavily.

“… ‘It’s your turn.’ He made me … ”

He stopped again, crying intensely, burying his face into his hands.

“… He made me put my mouth on his privates.” he said, and then under his breath, again, he said “Oh, God”

This is where it becomes impossible to remain an impartial observer. By this point, I really started to lose it. I was choking back sobs, as was Roxine, and the woman sitting next to me was also crying. Words cannot even describe the pain I saw on that boys face, and the pain it caused in me because I know, all too well, what it is like. But then again-I  don’t. Because I never had to sit in front of a packed courtroom and face my abuser, and say “this is what he did to me, and this is what he made me do”. Not now, and certainly not at 18 years old. I wanted to run up to him and wrap him in my arms and tell him how sorry I was. I wanted to take every ounce of that pain he was feeling and take it in myself. But all I could do was sit there, and look at him-I nodded my head, I kept saying under my breath “stay strong, I believe you”

Victim #1 testified that even though he continued to go to his house, he tried to avoid Jerry Sandusky-hiding from him underneath the pool table, or in a closet when he was in his home. But, he said, that didn’t last long. “There was just nowhere to hide” he demurred.

And as he soon found out, even outside of Jerry’s home there was no place he could ever be safe.

When Victim #1 entered high school, he started to pull away from Sandusky-something that seems to have triggered increasingly irrational behavior on Sandusky’s part. He began calling his home relentlessly, and showing up at his house unnanounced to badger him about not making time for him in his schedule, and not living up to various commitments he made with “The Second Mile”. Sandusky-who was a volunteer at the high school-began having victim #1 pulled out of class and sent down to the office for meetings with him. According to his testimony, nothing of a sexual nature occured in these meetings. He did, however, use the time and space alloted (the principal of the school allowed him to use a private conference room) to badger the young teenager and emand to know why he was pulling away from him.

Victim #1 testified that being sent to the office so often got him labled as a “trouble maker”. He was embarrassed by constantly being pulled from class, increasingly terrified by Sandusky’s constant presence, and eventually he began skipping school altogether. He went from making A’s and B’s to getting C’s, D’s, and F’s. He also quit the football team, even though he loved the sport, because of Sandusky’s constant presence at his games and practices.

In what was, in my view, the most chilling testimony of the day, Victim #1 spoke of a time when he took the bus, and saw what appeared to be Sandusky’s car following him. He got off at a friends stop, but found that no one was home. Sandusky pulled up next to him and confronted him, demanding that he get into the car. Victim #1 refused. Sandusky continued to hassle him, and demanded that he get in the car. Victim #1 turned around and started to walk away, and Sandusky revved his engine and pulled the car up directly in front of him, blocking his path. So Victim #1 took off running in the opposite direction. Sandusky followed him-until he turned and ran into an alley and ducked down to hide. He says he was afraid for his life.

When he finally got home, Sandusky was already there-standing out in the front yard and arguing with Victim #1′s mother. Victim #1 hid behind a bush, eventually sneaking into his house through the back door. Sandusky escalated the argument outside, repeatedly demanding that Victim #1 give him a schedule of when he was available, and eventually Victim #1′s grandfather was called and had to come over to diffuse the situation.

It all finally came to an end when he asked his mother if she knew about the website “that has people on there who do things to kids”. When his mother asked him why, he told her “I want to see if Jerry is on there”

The mother, alarmed, set up a session with a school guidance counselor where he eventually ended up revealing some parts of the sexual assault.

Sadly, the school remained unconvinced.

“They, they, they said we needed to think about it.” he said, his voice wavering. [Sandusky] has a heart of gold. He wouldn’t do something like that. So they didn’t believe me”. At this point, he dropped his head down and began to sob.

His mother refused to “think about it”, and eventually a report was made to Children & Youth Services. In the presence of a female social worker, he gave more details about what happened-stopping short of telling the whole story, because he said he still felt too embarrassed. His intent, he said, was simply to get Jerry Sandusky away from him. Instead, an investigation was launched, eventually leading to the discovery of other victims who had been hiding in plain sight for over a decade.

Cross examination

In the midst of Attorney Amendola’s cross examination of victim #1, I wrote a single word down in my notebook and showed it to Roxine.Gaslighting. Gaslighting is the practice of systematically convincing an individual that their understanding of reality is mistaken or false. Gaslighting is always done to provoke a reaction—whether it’s anger, frustration, sadness—in the person they are dealing with. Then, when that person reacts, the gaslighter makes them feel uncomfortable and insecure by behaving as if their feelings aren’t rational or normal. They become more hesitant to speak out-afraid that their resposes will be used as further ammunition against them.

Amendola started off, as did prosecutor McGettigan, by asking Victim #1 about his background. However, he asked a very interesting question-whether his siblings had any “disabilities”. Victim #1 stated that his younger sister was seriously abused by her biological father, and as a result “developed bipolar disorder”. Amendola inquired further, and he stated that the police had been called to his home on a number of occasions because of his younger siblings out of control behavior. I waited for them to follow up on this-to see where they were going with this bit of information-but they changed the subject. The objective, it seems, was simply to portray Victim #1′s family in a negative light, and perhaps raise the possibility that he was also mentally ill. I cannot think of any other reason why this would have been brought up.

Amendola raised the issue of Victim #1′s family hiring an attorney, suggesting that he had plans for a civil lawsuit with a big payday. Victim #1 said the attorney was hired to handle the media onslaught and help him through the legal process. Amendola repeatedly asked the witness if he verbalized to someone his expectation that he would one day reap a windfall and “live in a big house and drive a nice car.”

Victim #1 insisted that he didn’t say that-although he conceded that he probably talked about wanting a nice house and a nice car. In a rare moment of levity, he quipped “come on, what teenage boy doesn’t want a nice car?”

Amendola inferred that he would be introducing a witness to counter this testimony.

Sandusky also provided gifts, such as golf clubs and dress clothes, which Amendola tried to paint as an act of goodwill. Amendola said the clubs were donated through Second Mile and that he gave them to victim #1 because he said he was interested in golf. Amendola also said Sandusky bought the witness clothes so he could take him to church, which the boy had never attended with his own family.

Amendola spent most of his time, however, badgering Victim #1 about inconsistancies in his story-which evolved from initially stating that Sandusky had only “wrestled” with him and made him feel uncomfortable to the eventual disclosures about forced oral copulation. He started off with interrogating him about his statements that Sandusky had taken him to a hotel, but that Sandusky had not engaged in oral copulation with the victim during these trips, while he had in his home while his wife was present. He also brought up a discrepency between the number of times Victim #1 had stayed in a hotel with Sandusky. At this point, you need to bear in mind that Victim #1 had just finished testifying about the horrific abuse he had endured, in front of a packed courtroom, with Sandusky mere feet away from him.

Victim #1 dropped his head, sighed deeply, and then said-in a voice that was calm but firm-”Look, I was a little kid…” and started to cry again. At this point, I have to be honest that I am not entirely clear on the sequence of events, because I started crying again myself. But I believe this was the point where the defense asked to approach in sidebar, and the judge, mercifully, called for a recess.

I went outside and could not even light my cigarette because my hands were shaking so hard. And yet I looked around and everyone seemed to be smiling and happy. It felt like the twilight zone. Then, I ran into another survivor and advocate. “How did you do?” he asked. I shook my head, tearing up. I saw that his eyes were red too.

When I got back inside, he was still sitting on the stand, looking as alone as I have ever seen a person. That tremor was still there. He looked up and our eyes met, briefly. I smiled and, not knowing what else to do, I gave him a thumbs up sign. Jerry Sandusky walked back in, and he looked at him with the most heartbreaking expression. While Victim #4 who testified yesterday looked at him with utter contempt and disgust, the look on Victim #1′s eyes was different. It was one of sadness and longing-for what? I would guess for Jerry to stand up and tell the truth. I was reminded about how he had said that he thought of Jerry like a father-a child who never knew his own. The emotional betrayal is something that the media doesn’t seem keen on talking about-focusing instead on the sensationalist details of this case. But in many ways, I believe this was the worst crime committed against him.

When we readjourned, Amodela continued his lne of questioning in an increasingly confrontational matter, repeatedly confronting him with inconsistancies between his various statements. This went on for what felt like hours, and the questions were repetitive and seemed to be designed to wear him down (the prosecution objected on grounds of “asked and answered” but were overruled)

To explain his changing story, Victim #1 said that as he came to grips with what happened he had trouble admitting it out loud. It was particularly difficult to tell the entire story, especially in front of different groups of people. He said that each time he was forced to tell his story to a new group of people- from social workers to state troopers to the multiple grand juries, he would find it difficult to open up again.

“Whatever came first, I told the least amount to make it as easy on myself … I don’t remember what I testified,” he explained. “All I know is it happened … I may have white lied to cover embarrassment when I told these people. But I am here now telling the full truth to the fullest.”

“It’s a hard thing to talk about” he said. “You don’t understand”

Indeed.

He became increasingly angry and shaken as the questioning wore on into the afternoon. Finally, after another barrage of questions, he lost his cool.

He laughed, and shook his head. For a moment, he was silent.

“You know…” he said finally, his voice rising in anger with each word.

“It’s hard enough to tell the people in the jury what happened let alone the size of the people in this room,”.

Amondela pressed on anyways.

“I’m sorry” he snapped. “You are asking the same question over and over and I am going to give you the same answer over and over.” His face was growing red at this point-red with anger, choking back tears.

“Would you like to take a break?” Amendola asked.

“I’d like you to stop asking me the same question,” he snapped.

“I’m actually asking a different one,” Amendola said.

“You’re rewording them.”

Judge Cleland interjected then, telling Victim #1 not to argue with Amendola. A few minutes later, cross examination ended.

Redirect

On redirect, asked him a question about church. Amendola had implied that Sandusky had bought clothes for victim #1 so that he could go to church with him and his family-implying that Sandusky had altruistic motives.McGettigan asked him if, on the Saturday nights before he went to church with the Sandusky’s, Jerry had ever forced him to engage in oral copulation.

Yes, he said. Yes, he did.

He asked if he had been asked to tell the same story he had told in previous statements, or if he was asked to tell the truth. “I was asked to tell the truth” he said, and looked directly at the jury “And I did. That’s the only reason I am here today, to tell the truth”

Other Witnesses

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The other witnesses were not quite as pivotal and I still need to get to McQueary. So I will just give a brief rundown of their testimony.Victim #1′s grandfather took the stand next, and testified about the argument between Sandusky and his grandson where he was called in to intervene-told Sandusky “look, if he doesn’t want to do this, just find some other kid to do it”

2 women who worked at the hotel testified that they saw him there with Victim #1. They denied seeing any inappropriate contact between them.

The social worker who first took the report from victim #1, backed up victim #1 story. Her testimony was most interesting because it included a statement from Sandusky in which he admitted to the following:

•He felt “used” by victim #1 (a grown man, feeling “used” by a 12 year old boy) •He was “wrapped up” in Victim #1 (a grown man, “wrapped up” in a 12 year old boy) •He “cracked” victim #1′s back on at least 7 occasions, wherein he would lie on top of the victim, and lay the victim on top of him, both horizontal and verticle to his body for 5-20 minutes •He could not say “for certain” that when he gave victim #1 back rubs that his hands never went below his waist or under his shorts. •He made victim #1 a handmade birthday card, complete with a picture of him on the front that he clipped out of a newspaper. •While he denied following victim #1′s bus home-he stated that he did “drive in the general direction I thought the bus was going”-a statement so ridiculous that many in the courtroom burst out laughing.

All of these, the social worker said, were very suspicious and inappropriate behaviors between an adult and a child. She believed that Child Sexual Abuse had occured, and classified the report as such.

Another interesting part of testimony was the fact that they initially did NOT send Sandusky a notice of investigation, because they were concerned about retaliation.

Later on in the day, a wrestling coach from victim #1′s high school would testify that he walked in on Victim #1 and Jerry Sandusky lying on their sides, facing each other, in a weight room at the high school around 8 o clock at night. He testified that he felt uneasy with what he saw, and found it a bit suspicious, but quickly dismissed his suspicions because-in his words-”Jerry was a saint. He would never do anything like that to a kid”.

Mike McQueary

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When the state called Mike McQueary to the stand, there was an audible gasp in the courtroom. None of us expected him to testify today.Mike McQueary makes quite an entrance. He has a shock of red hair, and he’s very tall and well built. He speaks in a booming voice that fills up the room, and has an intensity about him. His testimony was eye opening.

Direct examination

I won’t bore you with the details of his direct examination, since it was essentially the same story he gave in the grand jury report-with one important twist. Whereas in the grand jury report, he states that he walked into the locker room, saw Sandusky raping a child, and immediately walked away-now he says that he slammed his locker door shut, loudly, hoping they would hear it and “break it up”. He also says that before he left, he saw Sandusky and the boy standing apart from each other and facing him-so, in his opinion, he put a stop to it before he left. Photographs were displayed of the locker room where the rape occured, taken from his vantage point as well as that of Sandusky and his victim.

Cross examination

Amendola brought up the fact that McQueary has filed a whistleblower lawsuit against Penn State, and therefore he has a vested interest in the outcome of this trial. He pointed out the inconsistancies between McQueary’s first statements, and his current testimony-in particular, the fact that in his first statements he stated that he left without doing anything to stop what was happening. He only recently started saying that he slammed the locker. He also stated that when he left, the boy was “still in that position” (Triggering again-but “that position” would be bent over with his hands splayed up against the wall, with Sandusky behind him, hands around his waist. THAT position.) Now he is claiming that when he left, Sandusky and the boy were standing a few feet away from each other, both of them facing him directly and making eye contact.

Overall, McQueary came across as cocky and arrogant. Completely truthful about what he saw in the shower that night, but likely not what he did afterwards.

He did not show one moment of regret or remorse for the fact that he didn’t intervene when he saw a young child being visciously abused. He seemed surprisingly unaffected by the whole thing. In fact, the only time I saw him get emotional was when he talked about losing his coaching position.

“Look” he said, his voice wavering a bit. “I want to be the coach of Penn State football. And I’m not able to do that right now.”

“And for the record”, he added, “I don’t believe I did anything wrong here.”

My thoughts

Victim #1 gave compelling testimony, but the cross examination rattled him. I hope that the jurors can understand why a victim of this kind of abuse would have inconsistant statements. Unfortunately, the laws of the commonwealth prohibit any expert testimony in this area (i.e. from a trauma psychologist who could testify that this is a very normal response) so it is really dependant on the jurors being able to infer this for themselves-and with so much of the public unaware of the psychological effects of sexual abuse, the effects of dissociation on memory recall, I am worried that they will deem him uncredible because his statements were so different.

The case workers testimony helped by backing up Victim #1′s story, and demonstrating the innapropriate behavior that Sandusky himself admitted to.

Hero worship an an absolute unquestioned deference to authority are pervasive throughout this case. Jerry Sandusky operated completely outside of the law for years-all but flaunting his abuse, and still able to maintain his position in the community, and still allowed seemingly unlimited access to children. At one point, when the wrestling coach was asked why he dismissed the incident with Sandusky and Victim #1 in the weight room-his words were “Jerry Sandusky is a saint, he would never do something like that. He’s a hero for what he does with those kids”. If the community is asking itself how this could have happened, I would suggest starting there with their blind hagiography of very flawed men.

I believe that Mike McQueary lied on the stand today-to save face, and because of his impending civil suit. I believe that he is so concerned about his own reputation that he would be willing to perjure his testimony (and risk getting Sandusky off in the process) in order to preserve it. It’s a narrative that, sadly, the media seems to be falling for hook line and sinker.

Why do I think he’s lying? For starters, his body language. When he testified to what he observed in that locker room, he was very strong and forceful in his delivery. He was direct, and did not appear evasive in any way. When Amendola confronted him about his inconsistant statements, however, he became angry and combative, and came across as extremely defensive. His explainations for why his story changed also made no sense. They were, to me, as laughable as Sandusky’s “I wasn’t following the bus, I was just went in the direction that the bus went” explaination. It just didn’t pass the smell test.

But what struck me more than anything was his nonchalant attitude. He was smiling, laughing, and cracking jokes throughout his testimony. A perfect example of how seriously he took this? When investigators came to his house in 2010 to ask him about the incident, he agreed to talk to them but said that it would have to wait. The Ohio State game was on.

He made an interesting non-sequitor as he got up to leave the stand. Having difficulty manuevering his large frame in the relatively small witness box, he cracked “I’m too big for this”

It was a reference to his physical stature, but I think it really sums up his attitude in general-and the attitudes of so many involved in this case who failed to act. They were all “too big” for this kind of thing. Penn State was too big, Jerry Sandusky was too big, their reputation was too big for any of this.

But there was a very interesting dichotomy here, between Victim #1 and Mike McQueary. I have never before witnessed an act of courage like what I saw today when Victim #1 testified. Bear in mind, he did not need to testify in the first place-indeed, as he admitted he did not WANT to. But he did, he said, because he needed to tell the truth about what happened. There is a saying that goes “when a brave child speaks, the spines of others are often stiffened”. That’s how it felt to bear witness to his testimony today. He may have been small in stature, and was diminutive, and soft spoken at first, by the end of his testimony his presence filled the room.

The large and boisterous Mike McQueary, by contrast, ended up looking very, very small indeed.